I began helping couples suffering from high levels of conflict, infidelity, grief, blended family issues, and relationships in crisis back in 2004. My many years of experience have taught me that there are very few marital conflicts that are actually “terminal.” The truth is most marital problems can be turned around! This is done not through fancy communication techniques or impractical time consuming exercises but by helping the two of you work through your conflicts and rebuild a solid foundation based on trust. This allows both people to be themselves and have a healthy, fulfilling relationship that begins with a strong friendship.
It’s important to me that all my clients leave therapy with practical, realistic, easy to apply tools to get their relationship back where they want it. After all, you shouldn’t have to sounds like a psychologist or need master’s level negotiating skills to have a successful relationship. I’ve found the main reason most couples split up is not because their problems aren’t fixable but because they’ve waited too late to ask for help. This is the reason I work hard to offer you an appointment the same week you call. Keep reading to learn how I address some of the most common concerns couples come to me with and WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT from counseling.
One of the challenges almost every couple has coming to counseling involves conflict. Some couples avoid conflict and can’t communicate. Others will stuff the issues down until they can’t take it anymore and one of them blows. Finally other couples seem to have volatile conflict all the time. Whatever situation you might find yourselves in the result is always the same. Couples feel alienated, alone, defensive, and often times defeated or hopeless. Many times couples feel embarrassed or ashamed that they can’t seem to work this out on their own and that keeps them from asking for help. They look around at other relationships and wonder “Why can’t we be like that?” Here’s an important piece of information for you: EVEN THE HEALTHIEST OF COUPLES ARGUE! At The Care Center you won’t learn how to never have conflict. What you will learn is how to effectively resolve those conflicts that can be resolved. There are some conflicts, however, that won’t have specific solutions. What happens if you have different ideas about parenting, finances, or other important life issues? We will work together to keep those from becoming threatening to the underlying foundation of your relationship, in other words, your friendship.
Relationships are shaken to the core any time an affair is uncovered. Most couples coming in have the same questions. Those questions include:
- Can the trust ever come back?
- How could this happen?
- How do we talk about this?
- How much should I disclose?
- What does it mean if I stay?
All of these questions are very important and deserve answers. I will help the two of you figure out how this happened. I will give you specific, practical things to do to start slowly working on rebuilding trust. I will help the two of you start talking together about the hurt, pain, and confusion to open the door for healing to begin.
Today more and more people are being faced with the challenge of bringing together two different families. This is almost always a challenge but can be more difficult depending on things such as the ages of children, the way children were introduced to the idea of becoming a new family, and different parenting styles to name a few. I will help the two of you answer important questions like what role you want your spouse to have in the lives of your children, who will discipline, what types of customs and traditions you want for your new family, and how to communicate these things to the children. No two families are alike. We will work together to figure out the practical solutions that work best for your family that encompass your values, priorities, and goals.
Relationships In Crisis
It is not uncommon for couples to wait until they are in crisis before they ask for help. Sometimes they feel embarrassed, believe they should be able to solve their own problems, or are afraid the situation might be hopeless. Whatever the cause for the crisis the first thing we have to do is stop the hemorrhaging. Couples in this situation are in desperate need of symptom relief to give them the opportunity to experience some hope that the future can be different. We won’t spend time dissecting your childhood or completing complicated personality profiles. Instead we immediately begin looking at the ways each of you are contributing to the problems and I help you communicate and agree on how to start addressing these issues.
What To Expect
Get Information, Ask Questions, Develop A Plan
I’ll ask each of you to share a little bit about your history and how each of you have experienced the challenges in your relationship. I’ll share my insights into these challenges and together we will develop a plan to fundamentally turn your relationship around. Read More.
Resolving Conflict, Rebuilding Trust, Restoring The Friendship
Most couples are in need of help because their relationship is suffering from a lack of trust. Spouses become distant, closed off, and relate like roommates or business partners. I’ll teach you how to rebuild trust, work through the big conflicts, and strengthen your friendship to keep the smaller ones from threatening the relationship. Read More.
Helping The Two of You Repair and Strengthen Your Relationship
As a couples counselor I have two jobs. The first is to teach you practical, reasonable ways to build or rebuild your friendship. This is the solid foundation you’ll need to move forward. The second is to help work through the few conflicts that have become bigger than the two of you. Read More.
Practical and Reasonable Tools, Conflicts Resolved, and a Relationship Healed
You can expect reasonable tools that don’t require weekend getaways or a master’s degree in communication. I’ll also help you determine which conflicts truly need to be worked out and help you both fundamentally heal the past hurts you may still be holding on to. Read More.
Homework, Handouts, or Complicated Communication Techniques.
Most happy couples have never heard of things like active listening or “I statements.” They don’t read self help books or go to seminars and you shouldn’t have to either. A great relationship built on trust allows both people to simply be themselves and enjoy each other. I’ll help you get there. Read More.